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Life as a 27 years old Zimbabwean girl

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Life is tough. No, that is an understatement; life is freaking tough.

I was born and raised in Harare, Zimbabwe and have been in this country my entire life. Second from a family of 3 girls, I was really fortunate to graduate with a bachelors degree from the University of Zimbabwe back in 2018. After getting my degree I had very high hopes. Thought I was going to start making bank, raking in money to live the lifestyle I also wanted and helping my sisters with school fees and all that. It turns out that I am the one who needed help.

Look, I am 27, unemployed, unmarried and living with my parents. I struggle to buy airtime and at one point I had to borrow money to go to a job interview. If you had told me my life would have been like this 10 years ago I would have laughed my face off at your sarcasm. I was too intelligent, driven and focused to have hit this low. My entire life, I have always been one of the smartest students in class. I was headgirl back in primary and in high school, not that this is an indicator of success but doesnt this show that I had it in me? I have collected something on each price giving day since grade 1 to upper 6 now I collect scraps. My parents feel pity for me, they wont tell me in my face that they are disappointed but its evident from the way they look at me.

Everyday…

My day starts at 7am. I wake, check my whatsapp messages and status; app bae and a few friends then check instagram to get inspirations (or jealousy) from former classmates living the flamboyant lifestyle. There is this chick that I “like”, she posts fancy food all the time (like all the time) yet she doesnt go to work. I wonder where she gets the money from. We were at the same high school, she was my junior and now she is ahead in life. Good for her. I know I shouldnt be feeling so jealousy but how can I not? My life is a mess.

I drag my feet to the kitchen and check whether there is water in the 20litre containers. There is no water so i have to go fetch water from the well. We havent had running water since 2005 and we rely on our well to get water. I go ahead to fill 5 containers with water till my back hurts. I ignore the pain and carried the containers back in the kitchen. Since we did the dishes the night before, it was easy grabbing one of the pots and quickly make tea. By the way, everyone baths with cold water to save gas and electricity, even in winter. My parents are the bread winners, both are teachers and they should be leaving for work shortly. My younger sister is in high school and my older sister is rewriting form 4, again. After breakfast, my parents go to work and I cannot stop to wonder how embarrassing it is to watch them go to work while I stay home doing chores. Its a low point in life, I did not wish for this, I do not deserve this so why? Why me? I am absorbed in my thoughts to the point that i dont even notice my sisters leaving for school. Noticing that I am alone, I break down and cry on the sofa holding a sweeping broom. After a good 10 minutes or more (I wasnt counting), I looked at 2 picture frames on the wall- one is my degree and the other is a picture with me, my parents and siblings on my graduation; the day I realised that life can be tough.

It’s now in the afternoon, bae and I fought again. We have been in a relationship for 2 years and he hasnt said anything about marriage, nothing. One of these days I am going to tell him that I am pregnant, how can I do wife responsibilities on girlfriend tender? He says life is tough for him too and he is not ready. Maybe he isnt but man I am getting old! Even kids are having babies and I am here getting old and wasting away. Judge me all you want, this is how I feel.

I cant stop  to think of how I can make a living. How, if i get married, am I going to contribute. I did try to sell shoes that other time and it didnt work out. I worked for a year as a teacher at a local school earning just $35 per month until one day I just couldnt get up to go to work for peanuts. The place was so stressful and it wasnt worth it. A random thought came to me that suggested working as a sex worker but…. I dont know. I think I have a choice. I read a motivational quote that I saved about how we are at different chapters in life. Hope my time will come but if I had a choice, I would want my time to be now.

 

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How to install ssl certificate in cpanel

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What You’ll Need

1. Your server certificate

This is the certificate you received from the CA for your domain. You may have been sent this via email. If not, you can download it by visiting your Account Dashboard and clicking on your order.

2. Your intermediate certificates

These files allow the devices connecting to your server to identify the issuing CA. There may be more than one of these certificates. If you got your certificate in a ZIP folder, it should also contain the Intermediate certificate(s), which is sometimes referred to as a CA Bundle. If not, download the appropriate CA Bundle for your certificate.

3. Your private key

This file should be on your server, or in your possession if you generated your CSR from a free generator tool. On certain platforms, such as Microsoft IIS, the private key is not immediately visible to you but the server is keeping track of it.

Installation Instructions

1. Log in to cPanel

The first step is to login to your cPanel account, this can typically be accessed by going to https://domain.com:2083

Note: You may encounter an error message “Your connection is not private” or something similar when attempting to visit your cPanel login page. This is caused due to your login page using a self-signed certificate by default. Please disregard this and proceed past the error message.

After navigating to your cPanel login page, enter your Username/Password and click Log in.cPanel Step3

Your cPanel Homepage should look like this:

cPanel Step4

Note: Older versions such as X3 Theme-Classic may not look like the image above, but should still contain the same concept and category structure.

2. Navigate to the SSL/TLS Manager

You can access your SSL/TLS Manager page by scrolling down to the Security section and selecting the SSL/TLS button.cPanel Step5

Note: You can also navigate to the SSL/TLS Manager page by utilizing the Search Feature at the top right of the cPanel home page and searching for “SSL”. 

3. Select “Manage SSL Sites”

Your SSL/TLS Manager page will allow you to manage everything related to SSL/TLS configuration for cPanel. The “Manage SSL Sites” Hyperlink is located underneath “Install and Manage SSL for your site (HTTPS)” shown below.

cPanel Step6

4. Select your domain

Change the Domain drop-down to the appropriate domain name that you want to install your SSL certificate on.

cPanel Step8

5. Copy and paste your certificate files

Once you have your domain selected, you just need to copy and paste your individual certificate files into the appropriate text box(s) pictured below.

cPanel Step9

  1. Certificate (CRT) – This is your server certificate that was issued to your domain(s). Note 1: cPanel should automatically fetch the Certificate (CRT) text if you previously uploaded the server certificate in the “Generate, view, upload or delete SSL certificate” section of your SSL/TLS Manager and selected the correct domain name above in the dropdown. Note 2: If you received the certificate in a ZIP file, click “Extract All” and then drag your server certificate into a text editor such as Notepad. This will allow you to copy all text contents needed including “—–BEGIN CERTIFICATE—–” and “END CERTIFICATE—–“.
  2. Private Key (KEY) – This is your private key that was created during the generation process. Note 1: cPanel should automatically fetch the Private Key (Key) text if you previously created the Certificate Signing Request (CSR) in the “Generate, view, or delete SSL certificate signing requests” section of your SSL/TLS Manager and selected the correct domain name above in the dropdown. Note 2: If you made the CSR and private key outside of your cPanel account and failed to save the files, you will have problems proceeding and may need to re-issue the SSL certificate with a newly created key pair.
  3. Certificate Authority Bundle (CABundle) – This is your intermediate certificates that allow browsers and devices to understand who issued your trusted certificate. Note 1: cPanel should automatically fetch the CA Bundle from a public repository. If not, download the appropriate CA Bundle for your certificate. Note 2: If you have multiple intermediate certificates, paste each of them one after another to create the correct certificate chain/path.

6. Click “Install Certificate”

Once you have the correct certificate files in the appropriate text boxes, simply click the blue “Install Certificate” button.

Congratulations! You’ve successfully installed your SSL certificate! To check your work, visit the website in your browser at https://yourdomain.tld and view the certificate/site information to see if HTTPS/SSL is working properly. Remember, you may need to restart your server for changes to take effect.

Why Bill Gates Might Be Jealous of Elon Musk

In an interview on CNBC’s “Squawk Box,” Gates criticized Musk’s comments on the virus and implied that Musk shouldn’t be speaking about the pandemic at all.

In that interview, you can sense the resentment steaming within Bill Gates; he seems to hate Elon Musk (the daring, risk taker and high energy entrepreneur). “Elon’s positioning is to maintain a high level of outrageous comments,” Gates said. “He’s not much involved in vaccines. He makes a great electric car. And his rockets work well. So he’s allowed to say these things. I hope that he doesn’t confuse areas he’s not involved in too much.” Mr Gates is implying that Musk has no right at all to comment on issues regarding vaccines. That is outrageous coming from a Microsoft Founder, which is a company heavily involved in tech just like Tesla and Space X and not involved with vaccines at all. With that in mind, Mr Gates is in no position to silence Mr Musk. Maybe “Mr Gates thinks he is a doctor now & knows a lot about viruses since Windows 95.”

In February, Gates said during an interview with the YouTuber Marques Brownlee that while Tesla had helped to drive innovation and adoption of electric vehicles, he recently bought a Porsche Taycan. He went further and said he owned a Tesla Model X and got rid of it. We all know Teslas are good, particularly the Model X; Mr Gates is entitled to his own opinions but he seem to speak his mind from a point of jealousy. In August, Gates wrote a blog post about electric vehicles, saying that they will “never be a practical solution” for replacing trucks and long-haul vehicles despite Tesla’s heavy advances in the truck industry.

However, why would a former tech mogul throw shade at an upcoming super tech mogul (they actually used to be very close by the way- before Musk had his massive success). We have to understand human nature to get at the bottom of this and Robert Green said it in his books, Laws of Human Nature & 48 Laws of Power; “Be wary of friends—they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies.”

Mr Gates is envy of Elon Musk. Thats the real issue. Bill Gates is someone:

  1. who was very disliked as a business person and as an entrepreneur in general. He was once hit (creamed) in public. Overall, he was not a popular person.
  2. who is fond of attention but seems to get relatively less attention like business magnates in his sphere, he was jealous of Steve Jobs too.
  3. who is very competitive but Elon Musk seems to be whipping him in generally everything, even involvement with Corona Virus vaccine.

When Bill Gates see Elon Musk, what he sees is a reflection of what he could have been. Bill Gates would have made an impact on this planet had he not been a greedy business person, all Bill had wished is manifesting in Elon and this explains the jabs, shade and hate Bill keeps spitting to Elon. Now Gates is trying to make a difference on the planet but the man is getting old and no one cares anymore. Unlike Gates, Musk has been building his legacy from a long time ago and he will be remembered as one of the Greatest Entrepreneurs of all Time.

ps: I dont hate Mr Bill Gates, the man gave us windows, x-box and office apps. He deserves recognition. However, Mr Gates should avoid attacking those trying to make a difference. By any means, Mr Gates should not let his jealousy get in the way of progress.

The Power Of A Smile

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What Is A Smile?

Woman smiling
Woman smiling

A smile is a universal welcome remark says a man named Max Eastman. Scientifically a smile is a facial expression formed by flexing muscles at the sides of the mouth and usually the front teeth are exposed. Some smiles that might include the contraction of muscles around the eyes include an action known as Duchenne. Throughout the world, smiling is a form of communication between people. Smiling is also known to have the most positive emotional content. A smile shows how a person feels about a particular something. It is said that a smile is contagious therefore you must do your utmost to spread it and make the world a happier place.

Although it may only last a moment, the memory of a smile can last a lifetime. No one is too poor to share a it and no one is too rich to not need a smile.

Why Should You Smile?

1. It Makes Us Attractive

Naturally, we are attracted to people who smile. There is real physical attraction linked to smiling. As mentioned above, smiling is a form of communication and it can convey sexual interest. A female smile increases physical attractiveness and enhances the sexual appeal and women smiles are very appealing to heterosexual males. However male smiles do not have the same effect as women’s. Facial expressions conveying shame or pride on men’s faces are more appealing to heterosexual women.

2. It is a Conversation Starter

Smiling is the easiest conversation starter. When someone smiles at you even if it is a stranger, you will subconsciously smile back. This is because smiling is contagious. Smiling does not only help change your mood but also that of others. That is  why some people are known to have the power of lighting the room. It is scientifically proven that the part of the brain responsible for controlling facial expressions is an automatic zone meaning that smiling can be a totally unconscious action.

The scientific explanation by the neuroscientist, Marco Lacoboni, states that our bodies possess mirror neurons – cells in the premotor cortex and inferior parietal cortex that get activated when we witness someone performing it. For smiling, mirror neurons respond to both the acts of seeing and doing.

3. It Improves Your Overall Health

Healthy life
Healthy life

The science behind a smile proves that the contraction of facial muscles helps activate happy hormones in the brain. Therefore naturally when a person is happy, stress is reduced. Smiling generates positive emotions within your body. That is why people who spend lots of time with smiling people are more happier.

Smiling is also said to boost your immune system. Your immune system will work more freely and more effectively when you are relaxed and are in a good mood because of the release of certain types of neurotransmitters.

Research shows that smiling lowers blood pressure. To prove it to yourself you might want to take your blood pressure not smiling and some few minutes later when you are smiling for at least a minute.

Smiling releases the neurotransmitters (that is) natural painkillers, endorphins and serotonin which make our whole body feel good. Smiling is a good natural drug that all of us must take everyday. Smiles elevate our mood, reduce physical pain and relaxes our body.

Even a forced smile can make you feel and positive. This is because even forced unnatural smiles send a message to the brain that everything is okay and life is  good.

You are more likely to feel and look younger when you smile. The muscles we use during a  smile lift up the face and makes it look younger.

4. A Smile Makes Us Look Successful and Trustworthy

When you smile at work, during a meeting or an interview, you give the impression that everything is under your control and that you have confidence. People who smile at meetings and the workplace are more likely to get promoted and hired than those who do not.

It is psychologically proven that a person who smiles is more friendlier than one with a neutral facial expression. Customers find a smiling employee approachable and trustworthy and they are more likely to purchase from or through that person.

5. It is Free

It is free
It is free

Giving a friendly smile does not require money. You do not loose anything from smiling but rather you gain the benefits of it. You’ll be happier and you’ll make everyone around you happier. Dale Carnegie wrote this on his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”: “A smile costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.” Old Carnegie sure was onto something!

Types Of Smiles And What They Mean

There are many different types of smiles and they show the true feelings and opinions of a person. Note that not all smiles are happy smile. We have different reasons why we smile. A smile may be a simple expression but when you look into it deep, you find that most smiles are intricate, powerful and dynamic.

1. Closed Lip Smile
Closed lip smile
Closed lip smile

When a person does a closed lip smile, no part of their teeth show since the mouth will be closed. They smile only because it is expected of them to do so not because they want to or because they feel like smiling. A person might be trying to hide that they’re feeling uncomfortable. It does not always convey joy.

2. Loop Sided Smile

This smile is when one side of the mouth is lifted upward and the other side downwards. Some might have the loop sided smile naturally and in such a case it does not mean anything. But when it is not natural it shows mixed emotions. This type does not usually warrant you to smile back. It is most used when dealing with problems and when we are trying to find the right words and action to use.

3. The Embarrassed Smile
Embarrassed woman
Embarrassed woman

Usually the person will look down and frequent shift of the eyes and the cheeks will turn red. This smile does not tend to last long like the other ones. The person smiles because they feel they have no other option at the moment. However since the angle with which you bend your head can make you look younger and somewhat cute, some might use it to be secretive or alluring.

4. The Happy Smile

This is a genuine smile that shows that a person smiles from the heart. It is a heartwarming smile especially to the causer of such a reaction. The person shows that they like what they hear or see.

5. Open Mouth Smile

This type involves the eyes and the mouth. The teeth are visible and the eyes usually sparkle. It is an honest and genuine smile showing that you are really happy with whats happening around you. It is the best smile to use if you want to make people like you.

6. The Pan Am Smile
Pan Am smile
Pan Am smile

This type is usually used by sales people. It does not show how frustrated and angry the sales person feels because of the customers. It is a forced and fake smile and at times seems extreme. The name pan am came from the Pan Am flight attends who were trained to keep smiling for customers even when they were not happy.

7. Flirtatious Smile
Flirting girl
Flirting girl

It is mostly used by girls and women when they want to attract a male. It is done i such a way to show the man that you desire him and he is everything a girl needs. It works because smiling in such a way will improve our attractiveness to males.

Dating, psychology, and even dental websites offer advice on how to use your smile to flirt with someone.

Some tips are subtle: Keep your lips together and lift an eyebrow. Some are coy: Smile while tipping your head down slightly. Some are downright comical: Smile with a little whipped cream or coffee froth on your lips.

8. A Naughty Smile
Naughty girl
Naughty girl

This smile ( a cute wicked one) is usually worn by children when they know they have done something they should have not done. It is also used by adult people in relationships when they have done or are hiding a naughty surprise for their partner.

9. Fake Forced Smile

This type is used by a person trying to conceal how uncomfortable and how they don’t like something but fail at it miserably.It also shows that the person does not like you and is being just polite outward but deep inside they do not have a good opinion about you. They are very easy to spot and believe me, it will not make the other person feel good. So try to not use this as much as you can if you want people to like you.

10. A Polite Smile

We often use this smile when we a person for the first time or are about to tell sad news. It must be used in social situations where we must keep trustworthy friendliness and not emotional ties. It helps us keep a reasonable distance with others.

Don't forget to smile
Never forget to smile

 

It’s Human if it Breaks.

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flower garden

Imagine you are walking in a very beautiful flower garden,with that flower that you love so much planted everywhere and you just seem to want to remain in that garden forever. It is you who planted, nursed, watered and tended to these flowers right until they became mature and beautiful. Imagine then someone uprooting each and every flower that you planted in front of you, slowly but surely reaping your garden apart, How would you feel??? Indeed, it is better to lose through death than to lose because they don’t love you enough. (Death is better than a heartbreak)

 

 

 

What really is a heartbreak?

The simplest definition i could find was that it is ” overwhelming distress.” A feeling that leaves you feeling empty inside, like you do not deserve to live and that you are better off dead. You feel like your heart is being pulled out of you and that someone is trying to shove a hot knife into your heart and in as much as they are inflicting such pain in you, you just can’t seem to die. All you do is continue to feel that pain. A heartbreak is something that anyone who has never experienced  can never understand or comprehend and one that anyone who has experienced  would never be able to fully explain, its an in-explainable kind of pain, the kind you can’t share with anyone even if they wanted to.

What causes heart breaks.

heartbroken girl

A heart break comes when you fall in love with someone and at the end of the day they disappoint you, or leave you for someone else. You might have invested a lot in that relationship only to be let down by that someone and that in itself hurts like crazy.

There is the love of narcissists, people who are selfish, to say the least. These people will trample down on your love for them, play around with it, make you feel like you are nothing, to such a point that even if they are wrong you find yourself asking for their forgiveness. Such people can even go as far as abusing you and reducing your self esteem to the lowest point until you feel completely useless. At times they might love you but because of their narcissistic behavior, they push you away. Usually, people who have suffered under the  hand of such people live a life of hatred towards love and men or women in general, their heartbreaks may never actually heal.

Then lastly, i consider this one the most painful because for one most people don’t actually know that its a type of heartbreak but it actually is. When you love someone so much but you can never be with them. You experience a certain nostalgia that instead of bringing you joy actually brings you a lot of sorrow. You are stuck in a  past that never existed, a past that you wish was but never was, and that pain, that longing may affect you and even the relationships you try to build with other people. This type of heartbreak is very difficult to heal because every time something goes wrong in your relationship you think you would have been better off with that other person and as such you end up walking away from every other relationship. But the problem is not him or her, its actually you who is stuck in a fantasy, an imaginary past that never existed.

The science behind a heartbreak.

Studies show that your brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain. This is the reason why most people feel like their hearts are actually being broken when they are in this state of life. The way we describe heartbreaks e.g, being torn apart, cut with a hot knife etc is registered into our brains and the brain in turn copies those feelings and pastes them into our system and therefore we begin to feel as though we are actually experiencing physical pain.

brain and heart

Love can be addictive, like a drug or a certain behavior and like all addictions it brings to us a certain feeling of joy that makes us want to repeat or continuously experience love and this feeling is controlled by  certain hormones released in our bodies called Dopamine and Oxytocin. These two hormones are released at hyper levels of excitement induced by love and they make one want to continue experiencing this feeling of love. Now like every other addiction, it is very painful to not get this euphoric feeling, that is to stop feeling the love. You may actually get sick in the process of trying to quit an addictive behavior and at times you may find yourself going back to that very same behavior that we are trying so hard to stop. This is the same as when the one that once made us experience euphoria through love suddenly becomes the source of our pain. That  hormone that was released changes to another hormone called cortisol. This hormone is associated with stress and too much of it can lead to nausea, aches, anxiety etc, thus someone may begin to get sick during their period of heartbreak, its because of this hormone that is being released.

So a heartbreak can actually be explained scientifically as shown above.

Symptoms of a heartbreak.

pain

being emotional. A heartbroken person finds it very difficult to control or contain their emotions. The slightest thing can make them very angry or even provoke their tears and at times they suffer from rapid mood swings.

exhaustion. This where one feels generally tired of doing anything and everything, their minds tell them that nothing is worth the trouble and as such a heavy tiredness fills them up that they cannot do anything. There is no motivation for them to do anything.

Withdrawal. heartbroken people can sometimes withdraw themselves from the world. You put yourself in a position to think more about that person you are trying to get over and you shut the whole world out.

eating disorder. That person may begin to have problems with their eating habits. Some may begin to stress eat and others may begin to not eat at all and this may lead to them getting sick in the process.

physical problems. Some may develop physical problems like aches, fast heartbeats and in rare cases mild heart attacks.

Besides the above, there are many other signs that show that a person may be going through a heartbreak like clumsiness where they can easily break things, getting lost in space (losing touch with reality), difficulty sleeping, change in normal behavior etc. All these can be pointers that one may be going through a heartbreak.

How to heal.

a girl meditating

Healing an emotionally induced wound is the most painful process in the world. Unlike a physical wound, an emotional wound cuts deeper, it leaves painful reminders almost everywhere, it continues to grow deeper and deeper if not properly tended to and it hurts more. However, life was not made in such a way that when emotionally wounded we stop living, life has to go on, ours included, so we have to heal.

  • Give yourself time to grieve

A lot of people when going through emotional pain or heartbreaks try to avoid the feeling, running away, distracting their minds with other activities etc and this is very dangerous. Its like nursing a time bomb and when it finally explodes it might hurt not only you but even the people around you. So the first step to healing is giving yourself time to grieve. Allow yourself to experience the pain that you are going through, let it flow through you, let it lead you and drive you, let it make you cry, scream, shout, do anything that you feel may make you feel better, Grieve but don’t let the pain take over your senses.

  • Stay in touch with yourself

When a person is going through emotional pain, they have unique and different behavior patterns especially in line with how they will be feeling. Today you might wake up feeling like you miss them or you just want to talk to them or maybe you are hating that person today, embrace that, don’t fight it. Accept how you are feeling at the moment and build on that. Use your feelings as an avenue to help you heal because by fighting them you are straining your emotions even more. Let what you feel encourage you to be better, reflect on it, consider why that day you are feeling that way and see if you can change be it the environment, the mood, whatever that is generating those feelings, but firstly , accept your current feelings, stay in touch with them.

  • Write

The most painful part of a heartbreak is that more often than not we fear opening up to anyone, sharing how we are feeling and its okay, its perfectly normal.But those feelings we cannot share should not be left bottled up inside because they may be our greatest source of hurt, so an alternative is to write it down. Whatever you are feeling , sit down and express it in writing, if you can make out a poem from it or a novel or even just one simple line, do that, but write it down, it will definitely make you feel good. If you cannot keep it then burn it, and as you destroy it, tell yourself, “this is a closed chapter in my life, I’m healing I’m moving on.”

  • Positive mantra

These are words that you can invent or get somewhere that just inspire you. Create such for yourself. Every morning you wake up, just say your mantra, maybe its, ” I’m getting stronger everyday.” Say these little but powerful words to yourself everyday, every time you feel like you can’t go on or its hurting so bad, just tell yourself, “I’m getting  stronger everyday” and as you go it will definitely become easier. At first it may be hard to even say the words but as you go on, it becomes easier and it will begin to have meaning in your life.

  • Create physical distance

This is perhaps the most important step to healing, creating distance from the person that hurt you. Its very difficult especially if you where deep in love, you want to stay within reach, you think that maybe they will come around and you sort things out, you yourself even want to try and reach out, but in order to heal, you have to distance yourself from them. Delete their number, stop all communication between you and if possible do not allow yourself to be in their vicinity physically. You are not a coward for doing this, you are brave and you care for yourself.

  • Be patient with yourself

It’s not easy to heal or let go after a heartbreak and it may take more time than we would expect. Its normal, don’t push yourself too hard, be gentle, its not your fault you are hurt, so don’t punish yourself or give yourself ultimatums. Allow your heart and mind to heal at their own pace and be cooperative, be patient and you will surely heal. Pushing yourself will only bring more pain.

  • Take care of yourself

During a painful phase of life, it often feels like there is nothing else other than the pain in our lives. We forget that we have needs totally outside the grief we are in, so as you are nursing your wounds, don’t forget to look after yourself, eat properly, take a shower and look good, it will definitely make you feel better about yourself and that you are still an independent human.

  • Allow yourself to forgive

As the Bible says, do not judge, and don’t hold anything against anyone, so forgive them, him or her for hurting you. As they say ” to err is human but to forgive divine.” Be the bigger person, whether or not they ask for forgiveness, just forgive them and do not hold anything against them. Because it is only when you forgive them that you can free yourself from them and move on with your life. So please forgive the hurt they caused you.

  • Talk about it

This is very difficult to be honest. You don’t know what to say, who to even tell and you are scared they might judge you or something, so the temptation to remain in your own little corner is huge, but take courage and just go to that person you trust. If you don’t have words, sit with them in silence, if you want to cry, cry with them, allow yourself to know that the one who hurt you was not the beginning and the end in him/herself, he or she is not your alpha and omega, there are still a lot of people out there who love you, so let them in. If its still too hard, then you can try talking to a professional, its not a crime and it doesn’t mean you are crazy, it just shows that you want to move on and get over this pain, so go for it. Just allow someone to walk with you through your journey, they might not understand what you are going through but the fact that they are there will definitely make a difference.

Conclusion.

hopeful person

Loving people is a gamble, you place yourself on the line, you risk pain, loss and a lot of other things that may be important and for some they try to avoid this gamble at all costs but believe me its impossible. We were all created out of love, to love and to be loved that’s human nature and it will never change.It’s also inevitable that we will be hurt and that, that pain will transform us. Don’t let it turn you into a monster, don’t let it break you apart to such an extent that you might never be able to pick yourself up again. Let it bring out a better you, a stronger you and let it build you up not break you apart. What won’t kill you will definitely make you stronger so, (Hope) Hold On Pain Ends.

 

 

 

 

Telone: The Best WiFi Provider For October 2020

Having too many options to choose from makes it very hard for us to make a decision (the best decision). This is because different companies offer packages with seemingly different advantages or benefits. Add to that different costs. But what makes it really hard for us to make a decision is not the number of options, rather it is the amount of information each option gives us. Lots of information can make us believe that the stakes of our decision are higher than they really are.

Everyone  wants to make the best and perfect choice. But what we will regret more is the extra time we spend analyzing and comparing information, which, during the process might lead to frustrations and fatigue. When this happens, it will influence our decision making usually leading to bad decisions.

That is why we have made it our focus to help you decide on the best WIFI provider for you for each month by making the needed comparisons for you every month. Research is done for you and all you have to do is decide from the data given

All the duration period for the WiFi data bundles in the table is 30 days unless indicated.

[wptb id=1367]

Telone

Telone has increased its WiFi prices at a higher leap than last month’s increase. It has many options to choose from that one is able to find something they can afford. Their speed is 20Mbps.

Zol

Prices for Zol have also increased. The speed for Zol ranges from 7-15 Mbps.

Powertel

Comparing the 3 this has more reasonable prices that many can afford. But one must take into consideration that they’re GB are smaller tan of the two. But then it is an advantage to some who do not require many GB.

final conclusion

I recommend people to use Telone this October. It is clear that among all its competitors it has reasonable prices and its speed is not so bad that one can work well with it. It has a variety to choose from too ensuring everyone can afford.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Giants at it again: Telecel vs Econet vs Netone (October 2020 data bundles)

Imagine the amount of stress that you go through every month when they send you that little message with gigantic content announcing that ” we have revised our tariffs please visit our website…” God, the pain that sinks in knowing that we are so broke but we can’t stay away from the internet or whatsapp so we just have to purchase them anyway. I can’t possibly heal the pain because I’m in the same predicament but I can offer a little help by giving you a wider range to choose from this month of October. I’ll give you my expert recommendation on which service provider to use and hopefully you wont have to sacrifice too much money to stay online this time around.

[wptb id=1365]

That above is a list of each package that the three service providers (Telecel, Econet and Netone) have in store for us this October. You can agree with me that compared to last month, Telecel has scaled up their prices a bit but unfortunately their network is becoming a bit slow since the beginning of the month. Netone and Econet are still maintaining their prices from last month and between them, Netone is becoming a bit faster than Econet since the month began.

Although Telecel has scaled up prices slightly, they seem to be failing to keep a steady network system and recently their connections have become a course for concern. Econet as well seems to be shaky connectivity wise and at best i would go for Netone as they have tried to maintain a stable connectivity over the last month, so hopefully they won’t fail us this time around.

Overally, for cheap services this  October, my recommendation still remains the same as last month, choose Telecel, but if you can spare that extra dollar for faster browsing then definitely go for Netone.

Whatsapp and WiFi bundles (Telecel vs Econet vs Netone: October 2020)

Whatsapp bundles (October 2020)

One of my best social media platforms is whatsapp, i know to those of us who are less social, its a no no for you but believe me I’d just die without it. I mean the way you can easily connect with other people and the amount of privacy it offers is just wow, well, wow until i think of having to buy bundles every month. That just takes the joy out of it all and with the way tariffs are rising every month, i might just have to sacrifice a meal or two to stay on app.

Wait, before we get into sacrificing meals and stuff let’s first see if the tariffs are now that high, you never know we might still find one affordable service provider for October.

[wptb id=1364]

I think we are in luck this month. Netone is doing us good. I must say i did not expect it to be cheaper than Telecel but judging from price per bundle they are in the lead and the best part is their network service is awesome, better than the other two actually.

WiFi bundles (October 2020)

Now for my personal favorite, WiFi. The good thing about WIFI is that instead of saving $150 for whatsapp data, and another $150 for IG etc you just buy it all in one. But of course we have to see which one is best this October, so let’s take a look:

[wptb id=1365]

It seems Telecel has taken the trophy this time around with the most affordable WiFi bundles this October ranging from $600 to $3500 for the entire month as compared to their counterparts.

Conclusion.

This time around Telecel has lost the battle to Netone in regards to their whatsapp packages but it has managed to stay ahead on the WiFi bundle. From last month Telecel tariffs have slightly increased and gone above Netone but they have managed to remain a bit lower than Econet which together with Netone have maintained last month’s tariffs . So for October, I would recommend Netone for affordable whatsapp tariffs and Telecel for affordable WiFi tariffs this October but overally for both speed and affordability choose Netone.

That’s a Lethal Weapon! Drop it!!!

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Have you ever wondered what causes people to behave impulsively, have mood swings, be unusually moody or even have character traits that may seem anti-social? Most of us would associate such behaviors to a person’s upbringing, character etc. We would consider such people as those who did not receive a good upbringing or who are generally bad in nature. But is this really true? Are there people who are generally bad in nature? I believe not. in the African context, we are groomed to believe that a person’s behavior is shaped by how they were brought up and their relationship with the Creator, but how do you judge the behavior of a child who was raped at an early age? Will you judge her behavior viz a viz how she was brought up or rather by the circumstances surrounding her life?

I believe behavior and character are shaped by the mental faculties that are in control of a person’s body right from birth. A child can have an unhealthy mental state from a young age because of circumstances be it biological, environmental or even genetic but because of traditions and beliefs we fail to realize it. We destroy our lives because we choose the easy way out, “I was bewitched, its the work of Satan etc.” We run away from the realities of our mental health that are right in front of us and blame it on things that we cannot even see because that’s human nature, avoidance and making up excuses so that it becomes easy for us. But don’t you think it’s high time we face the reality that most of us may be in some way suffering from a mental disorder?

What is mental health?

Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.This definition points out that mental health in general affects our emotions, psychology as well as social behavior. Whether we like it or not this aspect of health has a very huge impact on the person as a whole and it can actually affect one’s physical health if not handled properly. Mental health is the most important part of our health that we should be very careful not to neglect.

Types of mental health.

Most people think that a mentally unstable person is a ” crazy ” person and this in all respects is very wrong. Mentally unstable people are not all crazy as believed by some and it is because of this factually wrong belief that most of us actually experience mental disorders unaware and usually just associate it with the physical when in actual fact its a mental problem that does not require pills but rather therapy or psychiatric help. Mental disorders (or mental illnesses) are conditions that affect your thinking, feeling, mood, and behavior. They may be occasional or long-lasting (chronic). They can affect your ability to relate to others and function each day.So instead of just associating mental disorders with crazy persons, we should look at it from a broader perspective and understand what it really entails.

There are about seven types of mental disorders give or take two. All these have different effects on people and also have different causes therein;

  • Anxiety disorder

fear

This is a type of mental disorder that is characterized by feelings of fear, unease and dread. This type of disorder can cause you to be restless, have a rapid heartbeat and also may make you sweaty. Anxiety is normal to everyone and can be a result of stress or pressure exerted on a person. However if it becomes a disorder it doesn’t easily go away as normal anxiety does, it is more permanent if not handled or treated by professionals. Anxiety disorder  is further classified into three categories;

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). This is where one is anxious about ordinary things such as finances, family, friends or events that may be coming up. What makes it a disorder is that instead of them worrying for a short time, people with GAD can be anxious about theses issues for an extended period of time, one which any ordinary person may consider irrational for example a whole year and this will in turn affect their normal behavior.

Panic disorder. People in this group of anxiety disorder suffer from panic attacks even where there is little or no fear. The episodes of fear can come unexpectedly and last for several minutes.

Phobias. This category has people who have fear of things that posses little or no danger at all for instance a fly or a spider. They may also have a fear of public gatherings or crowded places and this is known as social anxiety.

So basically a person suffering from anxiety disorder may fall under these three categories and exhibit symptoms like anxious thoughts or belies that are hard to control, uneasiness, rapid heartbeat, dizziness, unexpected aches and pains as well as shortness of breath.

  • Eating disorders

This is also another serious mental disorder problem which affects one both physically and mentally. Eating disorder is when one eats food either excessively or in very little amounts for various reasons. To most people it may seem like a choice but it is actually the body’s mental reaction to something. It is classified into three categories which include;

Binge-eating. People with binge-eating disorder usually find it difficult to control their intake of food and as such continue to eat even after they are full. Usually after this, they may feel guilt, shame or distress because of their behavior. Such people usually suffer from obesity which is also a health hazard.

Bulimia nervosa. People in this category have episodes of binge eating and afterwards force themselves to throw up. They may also over-exercise or fast probably trying to maintain their body weight. Such people are usually underweight or slightly overweight.

Anorexia nervosa. People with this type restrict themselves entirely from food or eat very little amounts. They may see themselves as overweight, even when they are dangerously underweight. This type of eating disorder though the least common of all three eating disorders is undoubtedly the most dangerous of all mental disorders as it has the highest mortality rate.

Generally eating disorders may be caused by dissatisfaction with one’s body or stress which forces a person to consume  excess food. The symptoms to this are fairly easy to spot. They include excessive eating, fast eating, forcing oneself to throw up, swollen salivary gland in the neck or jaws, not eating at all and fear of gaining weight.

  • Personality disorder

A personality disorder is a type of mental disorder in which you have a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning and behaving. A person with a personality disorder has trouble perceiving and relating to situations and people. Such people find it very difficult to maintain relationships, make friends or interact with others well. Personality disorder patterns are behavior patterns developed over a long period of time that actually divert from what is expected by society or culture or generally acceptable human behavior. It is branched into many different categories all of which affect one’s way of thinking about oneself and others, way of responding emotionally, way of relating to other people and  way of controlling one’s behavior.

bad personality

Antisocial personality behavior.A pattern of disregarding or violating the rights of others. A person with antisocial personality disorder may not conform to social norms, may repeatedly lie or deceive others, or may act impulsively.

Avoidant personality disorder.People with this problem are extremely shy and are sensitive to criticism and rejection. They avoid socializing unless they are certain of being liked and are more concerned with how people view them. They generally feel like they are not good enough.

Borderline personality disorder: These people are very unstable in personal relationships. They try by all means to avoid abandonment, they have intense emotions, anger outbursts and are prone to suicide attempts. They generally have a poor self image and feel empty.

Dependent personality disorder:These people have a tendency to wanting to be taken care of by others and are very clingy and possessive.They find it difficult to be independent in anything.

Histrionic personality disorder. These people have a need to be the center of attraction and have intense emotions. They feel very uncomfortable when they are not getting attention and therefore try anything to get it.

Narcissistic personality disorder. Such people have a need to be admired by others and find it difficult to empathize.They are very self centered and take advantage of others.

These are some of the types of personality disorders that people may suffer from and symptoms of personality disorder include impulsive or risky behavior, unhealthy relationships, low self esteem, suicidal behavior and mood swings among others.

  • Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

traumatized person

This is a mental disorder caused when a person goes through a life threatening event or an event that traumatizes them e.g a natural disaster, a severe accident and sometimes a less life threatening event like death of a loved one, heartbreaks etc. Although it is normal to have feelings of fear shortly after or during a traumatic event, people with PTSD usually take longer to recover from this fear and usually need professional help to be able to heal.

Symptoms of PTSD include being jittery and always on the look out for trouble, feelings of guilt and blame, trouble remembering important events of the traumatic event, flashbacks of the event, trouble sleeping or having nightmares, avoiding things that may trigger or remind you of that event etc. It only becomes a disorder when these symptoms last longer than four weeks at whatever stage of your life they surface because its not always certain that they will come soon after the event. Some may come later on in life.

  • Depression

a depressed girl

Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. It is a disorder of the brain hat affects your daily life, a feeling of sadness that persists and becomes a part of your everyday life. It is more common in teens and women but everyone else can get it. The causes include abuse, personal problems, loss/death, major events and serious illness among others. Depression is an example of a bipolar disorder where a person suffers from intense and abrupt mood changes.

Symptoms of depression include sadness, overeating or not eating at all, suicidal thoughts, lack of interest in everyday activities, body aches and pains ( headache, cramps) and lack of sleep among others.

  • Psychotic disorders.

a psychosis patient

These are very serious mental disorders that cause abnormal thinking in people and makes them lose touch with reality. The most common type of psychotic disorder is Schizophrenia. Here a person suffers hallucinations, delusions and changes in behavior and this usually lasts longer than six months.

These disorders are caused by a lot of things which include drug abuse or use, trauma or head injuries, genetics and some illnesses like HIV. The symptoms include hallucinations, delusions that is false perception in hearing, seeing and feeling as well as false beliefs such as receiving secret messages from a picture. People with this mental disorder are usually hospitalized especially if they are a danger to themselves and also to others in society.

conclusion
getting help

Generally mental disorders are caused by family genes or history, life experiences that may have evoked stress, fear, trauma especially during one’s childhood, biological make up i.e chemical imbalances in a person’s body, a severe medical condition in the brain or critical illnesses like cancer and also having few friends this is especially true for young children and teens. They affect a person socially as they may lead one to behave in strange or negative ways that affect their social relations and others around them. Mental disorders affect behavior, relationships,focus and concentration, eating patterns and generally how we relate with others.  They are however treatable using psychotherapy at family level or as an individual, pills such as antidepressants, support groups,Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy for stress relief,ECT or other brain stimulation therapy etc.

Most of the time it is not by choice that people get these disorders and it is not everyone who has them that actually knows that they do. Some of them develop into “characters” that we become accustomed to and as such would never think of it as an illness. At times we confuse the symptoms to be the real diseases and as such get treatment for the wrong thing and when the medicine doesn’t work some of our African counterparts may conclude that its witchcraft. These are some of the reasons why people actually don’t acknowledge the existence of mental disorders and as such they end up making costly mistakes be it at work, in relationships, in families and even in their own personal lives, mistakes that could have been avoided had they considered the possibility that they are actually suffering from a health problem that can be treated.

Mental health is an integral part of us. It shapes people in a society and allows for a peaceful society therein. It is therefore very important that the health service focuses more on educating people on this and also providing adequate treatment facilities for these especially the system in Africa In as much as superstitions may play a role in affecting people , we should strive to make people understand that mental health firstly is not only limited to psychosis, it is very broad and secondly that it is not always caused by supernatural things or things in realms beyond our sight. Mental health is a normal condition that anyone can suffer from whether they are aware or not. So let’s invest in a better society by giving due regard to the mental well being of ourselves and each other so that we build a better world, safe and peaceful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Get A Job With 5 Key Steps

When you have been unemployed for some time, or when you have just lost your job, it is easy to get down heartened. You are not alone in feeling this way. You might start wondering if there is something wrong with you or might feel that fate is not on your side. However to be able to get a job, you must stand out from the rest. You do not need to be a thousand times better than others, just 10 percent is enough to land you a job. This article will give you the much needed 10 percent to better yourself than the rest by detailing what you need to do when searching for a job and what to do on your interview.

1.Be Organized

When looking for a job, you must establish your own working day schedule so that you start your day knowing what is to done and at what time to do it. You must also set daily goals for yourself and must record what you have done. Your day must start with you getting dressed for work. Why must you do this? Because being dressed properly for work will give you added confidence even when talking on the phone. You must make it your job to find yourself a job.

Man on call
Man on call

Make a spreadsheet to keep track of company names, position title, a link to the job posting itself, application materials, due dates, plus the date you applied, follow-up dates, and notes.

Budget your time to your job hunting. You can not possibly spent all day every day looking for a job but just a few hours per day are enough.

2.Access The Hidden Job Market

Its common knowledge that the fisherman with the biggest net catches more fish than those with smaller ones. It is also like that in job hunting. Increasing the size of your net will help you improve the chances of you landing a job. A variety of jobs will be slipping past your net if you only are looking and replying jobs advertised on the internet or those in newspapers. You must access the hidden market.

How can you do so? Each day or week, set aside time to call on companies that you think may have jobs you want. Do not wait for them to start advertising for a post. When the manager of that company says there is no work, ask where he or she thinks there is work and ask for a specific person you must speak to. If he does offer such a suggestion, make an appointment with that company and be sure to mention the name of the person who referred you there.

At times you may be told that there are no vacancies yet but to try again in so many weeks or months. Try again at that time and you are likely to get a job. At times you might even have to start as a volunteer. Do your work so well and do whatever tasks they ask you to do. That way you are more likely to be offered a permanent job.

Also to help you access the hidden market are family and friends. They will spread the word to their friends and help broaden your job hunting net. Let  them know your qualifications and the kind of work you want. That way when they hear of a vacancy in their own work places you will know.

3.Be Adaptable

To increase your chances of finding a job, it is crucial for you to be adaptable. It is most unlikely that you will find a job that has everything you hope for. You must therefore learn to be content with employment that is less than ideal. Being adaptable might mean over-coming prejudice against certain types of work. Remind yourself why you need a job. That should push you to take any job that comes our way. I’m not saying you will keep that job forever. You will work from there, and find the right job that qualifies your qualifications but at the mean time get some income to help care for yourself and gain more work experience from that job.

4.Make An Effective Resume

Resume list
Resume list

No matter what job you seek, a well prepared resume can be the greatest asset to help you find a job. A resume tells your potential employer not only who you are but also what you have accomplished and why the company needs you.

If you were at some point employed, provide details of your previous job and work experience. Include not only what you did but also examples of the goals you reached and the benefits you brought to your previous employer.

If this is to be your first job, your resume can also state your hobbies that might may qualify as work experience. For instance hobbies like fixing old cars or wood working. You can also list if you have done a volunteer work and put the details about the work and the goals you have achieved.

Another important factor to help potential employers to pick your resume is to use their keywords. Keep the job posting close by as you tweak your resume to fit each specific job. Use wording throughout your resume that mirrors the wording found within the job posting. Some companies use computer software to sift through the stacks of resumes they receive, and using the company’s language can help your resume make it through this process.

5.Prepare Well For Your Interview

When you are selected for an interview, do some homework on the company. Do a research about the company you want to work for.Be informed—very informed—about the industry you’re applying into. Research every company and every position. Research the people who might be interviewing you and supervising you. Research the top people and the company’s mission. The more you know about the company, the better the impression you will make during the interview. Your research will also help you to determine whether the company really has the kind of work you want or if you would like to work for such a company.

What To Wear

Men's casual wear
Men’s casual wear

The next step will be to decide on what you will wear to the interview. Wear something that is appropriate for the type of job. If the job is for manual labor, wear neat clean clothing. Your neat clothing and grooming will show your potential employer that you take pride in yourself and that you are likely to take more pride in your work.

 

Men formal wear
Men formal wear

If you will be working in an office, you must wear a modest business attire. The clothes must not be too flashy that it will make your prospective employer feel challenged or inferior because those kind of feelings will make him less likely to take you in. The clothes must not look junky or scruffy as it will make a bad impression on your interviewer. Clothes must be chosen long before you are due to attend the interview so that you don’t feel rushed and unnecessarily increase your levels of stress prior to the interview.

What Time To Arrive

Watch
Watch

You must decide on the time to arrive to your interview. Experts recommend to arrive at an interview some fifteen to twenty minutes earlier. Of course arriving too early is not wise. Any more than that, and you may be sending the wrong message. Plus if you arrive too early, the staff may feel like they need to entertain you or continue offering you coffee, etc. They’re trying to make a good impression too. If the company tells you to come, say, 10 minutes earlier to fill in some paperwork, arrive some 10 minutes earlier to make it a total of 20. But arriving late could be disastrous because you will not have enough time to calm yourself down. The first 3 seconds of your interview are crucial as it is in that moment that the interviewer makes assessments  about your appearance and your bearing. What they see will deeply influence their opinion of you. Remember, there is no second chance to rectify the first impressions.

What To Do During An Interview

Men shaking hands
Men shaking hands

To start off well your interview, smile and give the interviewer a firm handshake ( if that is the customary greeting in the area). During the interview, you must concentrate on what the employer needs from you and what you have to offer. Maintain eye contact with the interviewer, use natural gestures when you speak and speak clearly. Be concise and honest when answering questions. You must also ask relevant questions about the company when given the opportunity. At the end of the interview and you have decided that you want the job, ask for it. It will show your enthusiasm.

What To Not Do During An Interview

You must avoid fidgeting and or slouching. Good composure conveys confidence. You must not be too informal or overly talkative and you must never use profanity. Avoid saying negative things about your former employer or workmates as it might make the prospective employer think that you will be negative about this job too.

Talkative woman
Talkative woman during interview

Do these 5 steps and get yourself a job.